Why are we so afraid of asking for something and being told no? We worry and obsess about the possibility of rejection so much that it often freezes us from asking for something in the first place. The reality is that the consequences of asking for something and not getting it are virtually zero in most cases. Still, we worry about how people will perceive us, or maybe more importantly, how we will perceive ourselves.
I first read about this in Noah Kagan’s book Million Dollar Weekend, but the challenge is to go into a store and ask for a discount. The possibilities are that you are going to be told “no, we don’t have a discount”, or “we can’t do that right now” but the other possibility is that you will get a discount, or you will be presented with the possible ways to get a discount. If you don’t ask, your chances of getting a discount are virtually zero. By asking, the probability increases that you will get a discount.
It’s Not Just About Asking, Its About Accepting Rejection
In the book, Kagan tells a story about his father who works in sales of wanting to increase his number of rejections every day. The point is that more rejections means more times asked, which leads to more possible sales, given a certain percentage will say yes. So this exercise isn’t really about asking for free stuff, it’s about training your rejection muscle to accept it as a data point and move on.
Extra Credit: Take it beyond a discount. What else can you ask for that you currently guaranteeing that you won’t get by not asking? Maybe it’s asking your partner for more time together or asking your boss for a chance at that big project. There is a lot of progress to be made if we aren’t afraid of rejection.
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