Is Nostalgia Killing Your Vibe?

Reading Rainbow is Coming Back!

Did you hear? Reading Rainbow is coming back! For those of us of a certain age, this show brings back memories of LeVar Burton narrating our childhood. Also of the “Book It” reading contest that we all participated in during elementary school that ended in a promise of a Pizza Hut pizza party in exchange for books read. 

Reading rainbow is part of a trend aimed at Boomers, generation X, and early millennials by entertainment and media companies to appeal to the nostalgic part of the mind that wants to bring back the “good old days.” In recent years we have seen Maverick fly the F-14 once more in Top Gun, Full House became Fuller House, and Kathy Bates is putting her spin on Andy Griffith’s role as Matlock. 

We All Love Looking Back on Good Memories

TV Entertainment isn’t the only place we see this nostalgic trend. We often find this in our own lives. Looking back at past experiences we have had, places we have lived, people we have met or held relationships with along the way can conjure up immense feelings for the past. 

Each part of my life brings with it feelings of nostalgia. It can be as simple as a summer day off of school and going in the pool on a hot and sweltering Hudson Valley August day and then playing baseball in the evenings. Studying next to the lake on campus at the University of Miami or hiking to incredible vistas in Hawaii. Just starting out as a couple with my wife in Raleigh, buying our first home. All of these things firmly in the past, but forever etched in my mind.

Too Much Nostalgia Can Lead to a Feeling of Loss

One way nostalgia manifests profoundly is if you are a parent thinking back to the times when your child was younger. For me this might be remembering my son’s face on Christmas morning when he was four years old, or how I used to put him to sleep to Charlie Brown’s “Christmas Time is Here.” As time marches on kids grow up and there is a melancholy when you look back and know that those moments were uniquely their own, not to be had again.

I’ve certainly had these feelings and I almost equate it to a hunger pang, and it boils down to an extreme want for something we know we cannot have in the present moment. If we let this go too far, it can lead to a feeling of loss, not unlike when someone passes away. This can turn into a pseudo “grieving process” for the thing that we desire. When we aren’t able get what we want in the present, we start to plan for ways we might be able to obtain it in the future to have that feeling back.

Don’t Forget to Take Off Rose Colored Glasses

An important thing to remember is that right along side all of those happy memories that we bring back were some pretty terrible ones that went right along with them. Paying the price for not being the popular kid at school. The incredible traffic in Miami. The isolationism of living on a rock in the middle of the Pacific (I know that doesn’t sound too bad right now), or the constant rotating shift work I did in Raleigh. All of those things go away when the nostalgic filter is on your lens. 

Nostalgia Can Make Us Ignore the Positive Things in the Present

We have to remember that at one point, the past was the present, just like the present is your here and now today. Currently you are reading this article, and I thank you for that! If we dive too much into our nostalgic past it can interrupt the potential for making great memories in the present that are destined to become a part of your nostalgic past. 

With all the uncertainty in the world and a society that seems to be crumbling by the day, it’s hard not to get caught up in the nostalgia of good times gone by. History, however repeats itself and each generation has to deal with the baggage that is delivered to them. The “Greatest Generation” had to fight in World War II., the 60’s and 70’s had Vietnam.

If I go back through my own life, the 80’s had the cold war, giant inflation and supply chain shortages. The 90s had the Iraq war, the 2000’s had 9/11 and the war on terrorism. Today we are obviously dealing with societal issues on a number of fronts which I won’t go into here, but they are there. Currently as I write, the government is shut down and I don’t have any certainty on when my next paycheck will show up.

If We Aren’t Careful, We’ll Miss It

As much of a shambles as I perceive the world to be in at the moment, I have to stop and take stock. There are plenty of positives that if I don’t acknowledge, I will miss. My son is moving through middle school now and soon will be headed for high school. For the moment, he still likes to go outside and throw the ball with his dad and work on projects together. 

I have a bedrock strong relationship with my wife who I am immensely proud of as she does her part to educate the masses as a teacher while helping her peers reach the next stage in their teaching journeys. 

Currently we live near the coast in a town that comparatively is not expensive to most living in a similar environment. It’s a place that if you asked me 20 years ago, would not have been on my radar to live. It’s not perfect, but for the present it’s home and it has served us well in that capacity.

There are opportunities. Plenty of opportunities to make lasting memories and if I stop to think about them, I could already tell you what I would miss when we move on to the next chapter. Things like walking the dog down to the dock and having to stop six times so she can roll in the dirt. I can already see my future nostalgia, so why is it so hard to focus on it when we have it in the present?

RELATED ARTICLE: Letting Go of Expectations Means Accepting New Paths in Life

Can We Use Nostalgia to Plan a Better Future?

So what can we do with this nostalgic feeling? I think we can use it to help us to plan a better future and more importantly, a better present. As most of you know I am a scientist by trade and so when I get that nostalgic feeling, I tend to analyze it. What about that moment is giving me that feeling? What was happening in that moment, or why do I believe that I remembered that particular instance over all the others?

In some cases it’s something I can’t get back, like my son being 4 years old. Aside from having another kid which I’m not planning to do in my mid 40’s, I’m not getting that one back. Thinking about that however is a reminder that my son is still in middle school and today is a day that I have a chance to make a new memory with him.

Other times when I look at a memory it’s more about the mood that the moment provided. The feeling when you are the first one up in the house and it’s quiet and you can read a book with a cup of coffee. That’s a moment that I can absolutely recreate in the present and can look for opportunities to repeat.

Then there is the prospect of long term planning. We learn plenty of life lessons along the way. Sometimes when we are nostalgic it is for a certain aspect of life we had at a given time that we gave up for something else. Sometimes figuring out what makes us happy or fulfilled requires moving on from it to fully realize how important it was to us. Instead of looking at this as a “mistake” we can use the information to build our future plan for what we would want our ideal life to look like.

Can’t Longing for the Future Create the Same Problem as Nostalgia?

Planning for the future is great, but just like looking back on the past, we can over do it when looking to the future. If we tell ourselves, “I won’t truly be happy” until I get to a certain place or a certain promotion in our jobs or any other goal that we may have, we are robbing ourselves of the present just like we did when looking back at the past.

I’ve found the best course of action is to use the past to help plan for the future but once the plan is in place, leave it there. Don’t dwell on it. When the time comes, the plan will be there and that future that you were looking towards will become the present. Until then, check in on it every once in a while, but don’t forget to return to center.

In the End, the Present is All We Have

When thinking about nostalgia, I am reminded of the book by Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn, “Wherever You Go, There You Are”. In it, Kabat-Zinn emphasizes the importance of being present in the moment and enjoying where you are and taking it for what it is. The good, the bad, and the ugly. After all, the present comes with built in ups and downs, but it is the truth of where we are in any particular moment in time. 

It’s up to us to enjoy nostalgia for what it is and use it to make the present the best that it can be. If we do that, we’ll be on the way to making our next memory.

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