There are certainly cycles in life when it feels like others are “getting ahead” of you and you feel like you need to make a move. Maybe it has been a while since your last big promotion. Or you look on social media and four of your friends got a new job, three are having kids, two are getting married, and a partridge in a pear tree!
How are you supposed to keep up with a world that seems to be flying by at breakneck speed? The short answer is that you aren’t. Aside from the fact that you are hear to run your own race at your own speed, the frame of reference through which you are comparing yourself to isn’t a fair game, or apples to apples if you will.
The Social Media Game is Rigged
Your individual timeline goes at its own speed. Throughout the course of one’s life, on average, there may be a couple of graduations, a handful of new jobs, hopefully just one wedding, a couple of kids, and few international trips, IF you are in a position to experience all of those things and IF you actually want those things. Many don’t and that’s just fine.
The social media timeline however is both sped up and multiplied. Let’s say you have 100 “friends” online. You are multiplying all those things we just mentioned by a factor of two decimal places. 1000 friends you are multiplying those events by three decimal places.
Whilst I remind you, that there are only 365 days in a year. So every day, one of your acquaintances is probably announcing a major life event, and here you are sitting around thinking about your last major life event, which may have been 6 – 7 (sorry I had to) years ago! It sure seems like someone’s always cooler than you.
So it’s time to remind ourselves that you are pretty cool yourself!
RELATED LEADERSHIP CHALLENGE: Disconnecting Can Help You Plug In
Evaluating Your Own Timeline
Now I’ll admit I’m the first one to go snooping around at what is available when people around me are being promoted and it feels like I’m stagnant. After all, we all want what we feel we deserve when it comes to the work we put in.
There comes a point however when you have to look behind you at all the puzzle pieces you had to fit into place to create the life you have now.
RELATED ARTICLE: MAJOR LIFE UPDATE: I Didn’t Get the Job.
Which Cards are Currently in Your Hand
Those who know me know that I like to talk about your life as the poker hand you have now and when a new card comes up, you have to figure out if it actually makes your hand better or not. Now when you are younger and starting out, you tend to have very basic cards in your hand, so it makes sense that a new card being dealt can make your life better and you absolutely should go for it!
As you get older however it’s important to remember that you likely have already added a lot of good cards to your hand and you probably are playing with a very decent hand. So when you are dealt a possible new card, there is a greater chance that the card actually makes your hand worse, or in some cases significantly worse and you should throw this card out.
Your Hand Changes Over Time
So let’s take this to a real life example. Someone graduating college who is single, living in an apartment, not really attached to any particular place. The freedom and possibilities are endless on where they can go and what they want to do. They can jump at whatever opportunity they want.
But let’s now look at someone mid career. Has a spouse or a partner, a couple of kids, settled into a community. A new promotion is available but they have to move to obtain it. Your job card might get better, but maybe it forces your spouse out of a job they like, kids out of a school they have friends at, a community you have a house in and love. Suddenly your improvement of one card has made three or four others worse.
There are other factors to consider. More money but a higher cost of living potentially in a new location. What the weather and climate is like in the new location. Things you might have to give up such as proximity to the water, or a decent size airport. There are hundreds of factors to consider when making a major move.
The point is that the answer isn’t always go for it if there is a promotion involved and that is 100% okay.
Evaluating Your Current Situation
When I am evaluating whether or not I should jump into a new job I make sure to lay each one of the categories out and see if that card gets better, potentially gets better, or gets worse.
That potentially gets better category is very important. This is where risk comes in. Sometimes it is risky to make a big move, but the potential payoff is much better in the long run. You have to calculate internally how much risk you are willing to take on for a potentially big payoff.
This Week’s Challenge
Another problem I face is that I look at every new opportunity through rose colored glasses and look at the current situation as old news. To avoid that I do this exercise, and this is what I want you to do for this week’s leadership challenge:
Even if you aren’t considering a new opportunity I want you to pretend that you just got a new job in a far away location. It’s real and it’s happening. Now look around at your current life and take stock in all the things you will miss about being where you are now. Really consider the things that are unique to where you are.
Doing this helps set the baseline for where your current hand truly is. Only then can you start to fairly evaluate what moving to a new location and taking on a new job can, or can’t do to improve your life.
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